not feeling well... again...

Today’s update

Bad mood… I’m not feeling well again.  Because of the continuous raining this afternoon, the streets near UST were flooded. I was stranded inside the campus! There’s even water inside… my classes end at 4:00 pm but I reach home at about 6:15 (it usually take me 15 minutes to reach home)… there are no PUV (public utility vehicles… jeepney ) going pass our street so instead I took the other way (espanya street) but this way require me to take two trips... then the jeepney driver stop in the road where there is water and my shoes got wet (inside w/ my socks)…

Also because of our exams in PE I wasn’t able to review for our exams in economics…

My PE subject is from 9 to 11 am… I ask my auntie to go to school and fetch the radio that was with me because I already have too many things with me.  (I look like a run-away child).  So we agreed that we will meet at around 11:15 near the gate.   At exactly 11:15 I was in front of the gate but she was no where to be seen. I called home and found out that she forgot about our arrangement and I need to wait for her. I waited there for 20 minutes and my next class starts at 12 and we have an exam there! How am I supposed to review and eat at the same time for only 15 minutes?! (I still need to walk to our building and climb 4 flights of stairs…). I was about to cry when my classmate texted (sent me a message) telling me that she already ordered some food for me. Then I meet up with her and ate, we climbed the stairs and got to out room.  So in the end, I was not able to review for the exam. I just hope that I was able to answer the questions in the exam correctly…

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Irog naka uwi kaba? Di ka ba binagyo? Ako inabutan ng ulan at baha… kainis… basing-basa ako pag uwi… T_T

always problematic...

I’m not feeling well right now. My head I aching, we have exams tomorrow and I just found out that there are problems at home… (Home, province where my parent and brother are right now…).

Headache

            Because of our final exams in PE tomorrow (physical fitness), I got home late because our group still made some steps that are to be presented for the exam… before that, we just had lots of quizzes which made my head ache and my energy level zero…

Exams

            Beside our final exam in PE, we still have 2 exams after that… one in economics and the other in theology… so instead of resting after this, I still need to review for the exam…

Problems at home

            I just found out that my brother’s standing at school is not good… my father is so angry that he wouldn't talk with ether my brother or mother… I just found out because my mom told me to txt my dad and all… then to top it all, my dad texted me this… “ nanay: elo anak? Naipadala ko na nga pala sa kartero ang 50k na tuition mo. Ipinagbili na kase naming ung kalabaw natin eh… ang mahal pala kapag automotive ang course mo. Chaka nga pala wala na rin tayong alagang baboy, nipagbili na rin ng tatay mo para dun sa sinasabi mong project na N75… kasama din dun ung baon mo na 7k para sa recollection mo sa glorieta… cguro ang laking monesteryo nu…”. So I got kind of pressured because I feel like I need to have good grade so that my parents will not be disappointed…

Conclusion:

            Hay! I don’t know what to do anymore… I need to think this out but I also need to review for my exams… well I’ll just have to try and give my best. I guess?

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Irog kumusta ka naman? Hay, sana di ka namomoblema…  hehehe… itatawa ko nalang to… ^_^

other things to think off...

Death, Loneliness, Darkness & Sufferings…

Whenever I hear those words, I can’t help but feel fear. I always say that “I don’t want to die”, that “I don’t want to leave my family and be alone.”

In my religion, it is said that when you die, you will be united with your creator and live a happy and peaceful life with him in paradise. Then I ask “how will you be happy if you are not with the people you love?” during these time of doubt, I always imagine myself dying and my soul wondering around in open space, confused, don’t know where to go and alone in complete darkness.

Try imagining this, you woke up in a dark place, you don’t know where you are, you don’t know what to do or where to go and most of all you don’t know who you are with…

Will you be scared? Will you scream? Will you cry? Will you just wonder around or try to find the way out of that darkness? Or just stay there and wait until someone else finds you?

I myself imagined doing nothing, I just stay in the same spot where I woke up and waited until someone looked for me. But then I realize, no one is coming and I’ve been in that place for so long. Isn’t it that there was suppose to be someone to go and find me? Then why is it that I’m still here in this deep darkness and alone?

These are only some of the things that bother and frustrate me. They always comes in my mind which make me unfocused and irritated. I always tell myself that I should not think about these things right now, that my life is just starting and that this are just small things because when I become much older, other problems that are much more difficult will come to my life. But I can’t stop myself from thinking about these things. Like what other people say, we don’t know what is destined for us. So in my opinion we should do things that we want to do if we have the time because when destiny decided to do his job, there will be no way to stop him.